Fall, my favorite season, was here. I looked outside the window, while sitting on my bed in my room. Folding the clothes I just brought from the laundry room, I admired the golden leaves leaving the trees from the window. His life is easier. I thought while grabbing my blue night suit and neatly folding it and putting on the already tall pile. Sitting in my room, my mind was instinctively thinking about Rafael.
The conversation I had with him two days ago made me bitterly chuckle. Thinking of whatever he said, I lifted my head up and stared at my face’s reflection in the mirror on the wall in front of me. The mirror I wanted to throw away whenever I stood in front of it, the mirror I wanted to break whenever someone commented on my body, the mirror which showed my weak self.
After completing my work, I stood up and grabbed the huge pile of clothes, and then went to place them inside the wardrobe. Maybe he is right. I thought while remembering what he told me two days ago. I sighed and looked again at the mirror. For a few minutes I kept staring at the reflection: my eyes roamed around my own body. If only I was slim… I thought and took a few steps towards the wall in front of me, and, lifting up my arms, I grabbed the mirror, and went to place it in the wardrobe. One less thing to worry about.
I again looked up and stared outside the window. The golden leaves were still falling on the ground, so I thought to give them company and decided to go out for a walk, also because my mom was home and I didn’t want to face her. But luck wasn’t at my side today… oh actually it had never been.
As soon as my feet touched the ground floor, I heard mom talking to someone on the phone, maybe to one of her usual boring friends.
“No, she doesn't listen to me. I’m tired of her” she said while sitting on the couch, while I was standing behind a pillar, overhearing her conversation. I already knew she was talking about me, and I also knew what she was going to say, but still I stood there.
“She is becoming a burden to me. I can’t anymore. How many times I’ve told her to get slim, but she doesn’t listen to me. I’m her mother, so I’m worried about her. Have you seen other girls of her age… They are so slim and pretty. She is always in those baggy clothes… why can't she understand that no boy will like her, if she keeps dressing like that… I don’t know what to do anymore… oh really? Yeah please send it to me… I’ll try on h-”
A tear rolled down my cheek, when I abruptly plugged my airpods in. I knew that her friend will send her another weird diet plan, and she will try it on me, but I couldn’t hear anymore, so I left the house without my mom noticing it.
Another tear left my eye, as soon as I was outside. Am I a burden? Am I this bad? Why can’t she understand me? Questions like these were roaming in my head, and the sad part was that this wasn't even the first time. Playing tricks with me, my mind immediately went to think about Rafe's words, which he said to me two days ago. Is he right?
I sighed and, after hiding my hands in my hoodie’s pockets, started walking. The weather was nice, not too cold, not hot. The cracking sound of the leaves under my feet, the autumn breeze encircling me, the light blue sky with some clouds here and there… everything was my favorite.
Avoiding the main road and huge park, near the city center, I strolled through small streets and less crowded parks, where definitely there were fewer pairs of eyes which would stare at me from head to toe. It was getting dark, even if it wasn’t late, so I decided to head back home, mentally prepared to listen to my mom’s words and taste her new diet plan.
Time skip: next day at college
I entered the college, being invisible as usual. Walking towards my first class, I carefully looked here and there just to spot Rafe and successfully avoid him. I have been doing this since the day we had had that talk. All my college days went by me avoiding him, and him searching for me.
Lost in my thoughts, eyes still glancing here and there, I suddenly stopped outside a room. The door was closed, but muffled sounds were coming from inside. What’s happening here? I thought and carefully looked at right and left.
The whole hallway was empty now, since all the students were already in their classrooms. For a split second I thought of knocking, but the next minute, I was startled when the door burst open, revealing Eleanor.
She was catching her breath, her hair was a little messy, while her neck was painted with dark bruises. I didn’t need an expert to guess what had happened inside that room. Before I could look at the guy inside, she closed the door.
“Sky what are you doing here?” she asked, smiling. “Huh.. no, n-nothing” I said and immediately turned to go to my classroom. Quickly reaching the second floor, I never dared to look back at her.
Only one question was in my mind: who was the guy? And I was afraid I knew the answer: Rafael. Whatever he said to me two days ago, was all a lie, was just his fake side. By now I didn’t know what to feel… his words were creating a new hope for me, but it all crashed. Maybe I shouldn't have avoided him. But little did I know that this wasn’t the only shocking news I’ll get today.
As soon as I reached my class, the teacher announced that there was a music competition in my college and many students were participating in order to compete with other colleges’ students. I weren’t interested at all, but my classmates were more than excited. Since the teacher was just talking about the competition, I rested my head on the desk and closed my eyes, remembering what I saw some minutes ago. But. Suddenly I lifted up my head.
While the teacher was explaining all the rules and regulations of the competition to the interested students, she pronounced a name, a name I knew very well.
“He’ll be here in a few minutes and then I’ll present him to you. Please behave yourself while we have a guest in our college. He’s the same age as you, he’ll be friendly and will help you to improve your music skills for the competition. He studies music at the other branch of our university and he, himself, offered to come here to help you.” The teacher kept talking, but my mind was stuck at the name. He was coming here and I wasn't ready to face him.
Soon after someone knocked at the door, I gulped hard. “Here he is. Students, he is Garrett, your tutor for the music competition” the teacher said when the new guy entered the room.
Garrett, my one and only ex-boyfriend.
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