"Yes, I'll come" Skylar said, a small smile on her lips, when both of them squealed in happiness. Her heart won over your mind this time. After thanking both of them, she turned and went to hee class. Many mixed emotions took over her relaxed body. She was happy to make new friends and go freely outside, but, at the same time, she was also scared of what might happen during the lunch break. "They won't make fun of my body, right?" She thought. Soon she reached the first class and sat in the last row, near the window. She carefully placed her book on the desk, and, without caring much about her surroundings, she kept staring outside the window. Her mind was occupied by just one thought: the lunch break.
Soon the teacher came and started doing his work, but she was completely lost in her thoughts. Her overthinking mind wasn't letting her stay calm for one second.
"What if they called me to make fun of me? No, but Rafael isn't like that… or maybe yes. Why did Eleanor invite me? They have their friends, right? So why do they need me now? Maybe Eleanor doesn't have good intentions… but she seemed sweet. What if one of their other friends makes fun of my weight? Why Sky, you agreed to go, stupid? If you had said no at that time, now you wouldn't be spending your time thinking about them. You should have said no. Should I tell them I can't come? Should I make an excuse like always? Where did they decide to go? Rafael was talking about an Italian restaurant… What will I order? Shit … why did you agree to go Sky?"
She was lost in her thoughts when the bell rang: the first lesson was over … As soon as the teacher left the classroom, she grabbed her phone. Taking notes wasn't the first priority now. Opening Google, she went to search for that Italian restaurant's menu. She carefully read all the dishes and already decided on what she'll order. "I think a light salad will be enough." She thought and got up to attend your next lesson.
After two hours, which seemed like an eternity to her, the bell rang and the lessons for this morning were over. Now there was the lunch break. Some students, with their friends, went directly to the college's canteen, others stayed inside classrooms, while more students exited the college's building to have lunch outside, like she agreed to.
Entering the long hallway, she didn't know what to do or where to go, so she kept looking here and there like a lost kid. "Should I go to search for them? Will they wait for me? Ahh what should I do?" While being lost in her thoughts, her feet took her near the entrance and there was someone waving at her. It was Eleanor.
"Oh no! Shit! They are here. Should I go back? Sky from next time don't agree, just refuse dude!"
"Skylar come. We were waiting for you" Eleanor yelled, standing near the main gate. We? She thought, confused, but then saw Rafael standing a little far from Eleanor. They both signaled her to come. And that's what she did.
Gulping hard, she was now walking side by side them. They both were talking about the next sports competition of their college, while she wasn't even listening. She grabbed her hoodie's hem really tightly… feeling nervous. Her heart was racing inside her ribcage, while sweat started forming on her forehead and hands. Being work up, she didn't notice something. Rafael, being tall, was looking at her from time to time. "Cute" he thought when he saw her red, chubby cheeks.
Since the new Italian restaurant was near the college, aaftera few minutes walk, they entered that place. "Hey Rafe, El come" a loud voice called both of her "walk mates". There were three guys sitting on a table, apparently waiting for Rafael and Eleanor to join them. She froze on her spot, since no one called her name.
"Hey come" Eleanor whispered and gently grabbed her arm, and dragged her near the table. Feeling three pairs of strange eyes staring at her, made her a lot uncomfortable. She was still holding her hoodie's hem and her knuckles were white by now.
"Guys she's Skylar" Rafael said, smiling. "And Skylar this is Sam, Jeremy and Gabriel" Rafael completed the introduction, as she immediately forced a smile at them.
They did the same and soon they all sat at the table. "What should we order?" Jeremy asked. "I guess Pizza, since we are at an Italian rrestaurant" Eleanor spoke, while holding the menu. On the otherhand, Skylar could feel her heartbeat increasing. "What should I do now? What should I order? They all will have pizza, how can I order a salad?"
"Yeah great idea" Gabriel clapped his hands in approval. Everyone seemed to agree. The boys were already talking about another topic, when Eleanor looked at her. "Are you okay with pizza?" She asked to which Skylar simply nodded, shifting uncomfortably on her seat. The pizza was ordered and soon was placed on the table, right in front of her.
Her one hand was still holding her hoodie's hem, so the other trembling hand went to grab one slice of pizza. She actually wanted to eat it, she liked pizza a lot, that she forgot about the salad she decided to order before in the classroom. Finally her hand reached the plate, grabbed the slice and she gave it a bite.
It was more than delicious. After weeks, she was having a pizza, so she enjoyed every single ingredient of it. The sauce touching her lips, the mozzarella melting in her mouth, the oregano's fresh flavor took her to cloud nine. She forgot about her surroundings and just closed her eyes, enjoying her favorite dish. She were still holding the first slice, when something made her return back to reality. A sentence. An uncomfortable one.
"So now we know why you are like this" Sam said and started laughing. "You like pizza a lot, don't you?" Jeremy joined Sam and laughed too. "I like pizza too, but then I go to the gym too, to burn ccalories " Gabriel spoke, while munching on his slice.
She nervously put the slice back on the plate. They were laughing and talking like nothing happened, but for her it was disrespectful. Biting her lower lip to prevent her from crying, she looked at Rafael. He didn't seem to care about what his friends were saying, or he didn't notice. He just kept eating his pizza, until she abruptly stood up.
Eyes filled with tears, she made her way towards the exit. Everyone went quiet on the table. She could feel their gaze on her, but she didn't look back. She exited the new Italian restaurant and started walking to the opposite direction of the college. She didn't know where to go, but still she just kept going. Warm tears ran down her cheeks.
She wiped them off with the back of her hand, trying to see the road in front of her, which was quite impossible due to her blurry vision. After 20 minutes of walking, she saw a bench near a bus stop and went to sit on it. She were tired. Tired of her body, of everyone's comments, of the judgemental society, which didn't let her live peacefully.
"What should I do? Why is my life like this? Why can't I live peacefully? Why can't THEY let me live peacefully? I'm tired. I can't anymore."
"Why does this always happen to me? Couldn't they let me live?" She didn't realize when she started talking to herself, sitting alone at that bus stop's bench.
She started crying out loud, while hugging her knees. "I'm a human too. Please don't do this to me. Why is my body a problem for you?" She mumbled between hiccups. "Sky, it's your fault. Why did you agree in the first place? You can't go outside with other people, you can't have friends. Why did you think your life was changing, huh?"
*
After seeing her going away, Eleanor immediately got up, but soon was pulled again to sit by Rafael. "Where are you going? Lunch isn't over" he nonchalantly said. "Are you fucking blind? Didn't you see her?" Eleanor said, clearly worried for her. "I did" the best swimmer of the college was now directly looking into the most popular girl's eyes.
Sam, Jeremy and Gabriel, who were eating and laughing a moment ago, were silent now, watching the silent war going on betweenthe other two.
"And why didn't you say or do anything?" Eleanor was fuming in anger. "And you assholes, why the fuck you needed to comment that? Why the fuck can't you let her have her meal peacefully?" The angry girl banged her hand on the table. Other clients were silently enjoying the drama.
"El, it's not a big deal, she isn't a kid aanymore " Rafael calmly said. "I really want to slap you Rafe" Eleanor was on the verge of exploding with all her anger. "Why? What did I say? I know they were wrong" Rafael indicated to the three silent mummies. "But she didn't need to overreact like that. She could have just spoken for herself. She needs to stand up for herself. What was she waiting for? A hero, who will come and save her every time she is bullied, huh?" Rafe finished his speech, while Eleanor gulped down a whole glass of water.
"Are you even listening to yourself, Rafe?" El took a long breath and tried to calm herself. "Everyone needs to stand for themselves, okay? I get it. Everyone needs to speak up for themselves, I get that too. BUT. She can't even see herself in the mirror. How can you expect her to stand for herself in front of a bunch of strangers? She is in a state of mind where she considers herself lower than everyone,she isn't proud of herself just because of some dickhead's comments. So don't expect her to speak up for herself NOW. She doesn't need a hero, but simply someone who can be by her side and reassure her that she's worthy of every happiness in this world. I hope you understand where you are wrong, Rafael" El stopped talking and got up. "I don't understand why you're being nice to her?" Rafe looked at her. "Well we don't need a reason to be good to people" she said, before turning and leaving the four guys behind.
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